So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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