well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
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We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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