i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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