I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
