I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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