i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
