Porn is love you can see.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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