Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
