I think I died a long time ago.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
