I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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