Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
