I want to have your abortion
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
