Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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