I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
