can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
