Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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