Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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