My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
