Your face is a jimmy john
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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