With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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