Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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