we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
