If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
