are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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