even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
