I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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