She is in my trunk
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
