i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
