tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Damn victory sex feels great
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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