just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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