I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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