We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
