I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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