We won't sleep together?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
