i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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