Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
