i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
