no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i barfeds in our rink
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
