I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
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