i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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