I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
