my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
