Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
im holly from the hills drunk
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
