Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize