How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
