i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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