Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
