i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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