I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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