Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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