I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
