So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
