youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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