Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
of course. lets lasso hookers.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
