I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
