Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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