bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
