There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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