I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hippo gnu deer
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
