...so i touched it.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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