You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i wish my penis had a tongue
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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