For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
