DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
